I was just reminded of how powerful it is when we see that God is acting on our behalf or on the behalf of others. I’m not sure when I stopped asking God to answer prayers, but I took a break for some reason. I mean, I took a break BELIEVING that He was answering my prayers.
When I experienced unexpected anxiety 6 years ago, I asked Him to take away the feeling…and because He allowed me to keep enduring that nightmare I had a most treacherous thought one day. “What if He isn’t going to heal this?” For quite some time after that, I experienced such discouragement about my prayers. I think that is why I stopped believing that He was going to answer my prayers. Just because of that one thorn in my flesh, I stopped having hope in every prayer being answered (in his way-not mine) and doubt ensued. That doubt created a world of mind chaos and fear.
But, He stayed with me even through that nastiness. I always felt Him with me, but I was so afraid. I’m still afraid sometimes and I don’t even know why.
My honest guess is that He is letting me feel things because I asked Him to make me faithful regardless of goodness in my life. That prayer just happened to be prayed right before all the chaos began. Hmmm. I think the deal is that He’s still working everything out for THAT good.
I’ve started believing He’s going to answer my prayers again. But this time, I believe from a different vantage point. I see that God does answer every prayer-in HIS way. I liked it when He answered prayers in His way AND my way. But, when He “started” answering my prayer in His way and it didn’t match up with my vision of the answer…I faltered.
Now, I’m seeing that His way is THE way.
It’s not easy. I’m still impatient. I’m still scared. I still continue to see myself trying to answer the prayers in my strength. But, when I see that I’m doing that, I back off. I pray that I will never stop seeing, and that God will continue to stretch my faith till it hurts if it will cause me to have a greater faith in Him when His work is done.
Prayers recorded are powerful. I used to write them down and then check them off when I could see God moving in those people’s lives.
I asked Him this morning to give me wisdom, to give me words that are only from Him when they are needed in a situation. I asked Him to spread the word in what I’m doing with First Priority in a way that I would know He’s doing the spreading. I don’t want to try to do God’s work anymore because I’m scared to wait and let Him do it.