Years ago I realized how flimsy my faith was. I was filled with the awe of the Spirit of God dwelling in me and bringing me a joy that I couldn’t explain, but something festered inside. It was gentle within but the festering came from my fleshly, human tendency to feel troubled when there is something to tackle.
The gentle reality that I had come to was that although God’s Complete Holy Spirit was refreshing my life, I was still completely bound by circumstance.
I focused in on what I was recognizing.
Everything material was in my favor. Comfort was making it easy for me to appreciate what God was transforming in my life.
I could see the blessings in the material. Healthy kids, growing healthy marriage, healing financial situations, and so on.
But… there was a but.
I wondered if I would “feel” as happy if things weren’t easy. I earnestly, regardless of my flesh, wanted a real faith that wasn’t based on circumstance.
So, I asked. I requested that God sift the person that I was, expelling anything within my character that wasn’t truly faithful.
The process is still in motion. The past 6 years have been hard, but healing. Miserable but revealing. I am a mess, but less of a mess because of the Light God has shone on my heart.
I love this terrible consecration process.
My only desire is that my heart and life would reflect Jesus, who saves in a way that cannot be explained but only experienced.
My mess is a segment of His message.
So is yours.