No clue what to call this post… Smorgasbord?

Good day to you… I may have mentioned it before but I have TOO much to say. So much that sometimes I just don’t post anything. HA! I’ve been asking God to settle my heart so that I can say the words He’s giving me, rather than the ones that I’ve heard from others that get me all ramped up and excited. Do you ever get like that? You hear someone say something that really resonates with you or your spirit and you want to SHOUT it from the roof tops/blogtops? hehehheheehhhehehee

I’m that way.

But, I’m making an effort to listen to what God is telling me to others, to my children, to my husband and on this blog. Admittedly, I will tell you that I’m not sure how much progress I am making. I’m having a hard time distinguishing between my voice/voices of those who inspire me and God’s voice.

So, I wait. And work on it some more. The listening and stillness part. I’m having a hard time with that as well. I’ve always prided myself on being a laid back, easy-going person…but I’m not as laid back as I thought I was. It really takes an effort for me to stop thinking about what’s going on in my mind or what I have to do.

On to more important matters:

This past week at our new church, they have been holding their mission conference. This is an annual event where the church hosts several of its missionaries that we send support in the ways of prayer, finances, short-term missionary assistance with our youth/church families, and any other ways of helping with their mission.

It has been SUCH a blessing to just hear what these missionaries are doing. It has also rocked my heart a little. I told my husband the other night that I felt “gross” after hearing from all the missionaries. I feel gross about myself and the way that I live my life. The things that I hold dear to my flesh are just awful.

Aside from our society’s group of people that just plain do not have faith or a belief system-we have an entire society of people that may have the yearning in their spirit for God, but we cannot hear or feel it long enough to search for answers-because of the over abundance of stuff that we fill our lives with. STUFF STUFF and more STUFF

From Netflix to Nutella (all cool stuff-don’t get me wrong) we have SO much stuff in our lives that we don’t know where to begin to satisfy our hungers. I believe in my heart and soul that our hunger is for something more..something that no THING can fulfill. Even people that don’t care to have faith can agree that we are bottomless voids.

Most don’t feel satisfied. They want more…

Well, we were built for sin and death, right?

Its funny to me how true it is that all over the bible these ancient words talk of the rich and powerful being the starving ones and the poor being full. It seems confusing if you think of it in literal terms. But, I can personally admit that when I have too much, I have less room for God. Eventually, I realize that my “things” aren’t filling me up-rather than are bottoming me out. Then I reach back for the hand of God. Each time He fills me back up with His Spirit that is a fuel that never empties-unless I do the walking away/emptyING.

Well, that’s the story of faith and grace, eh? We continue to sin…therefore we continue to need to walk back to God’s loving arms.

One thing is for sure. As a person of faith, although I never stop sinning or dealing with temptation, God’s grace in my life —->through the sacrifice of Jesus, my walk back to God each time is sooner and the walk is shorter. Why? Because I’m getting better as a person? NO! Because I’m  a better “Christian”? NO!!!!!! Certainly not.


Because of Jesus. Because of the change in me that has unfolded over the past 25 years of my life. Every time I walk back to God I get more comfortable in His arms and see His truth more clearly. And now every time I’m tempted, I’m more often tempted to stick close to God because I know His love is the real thing. Not because of something I believe that I read in the bible or that some pastor told me. Those are great and valuable tools.

But, the real reason is because my life changed when God let me hear His call in my life-and I responded. He tried romancing me for years and I wasn’t ready to let go of my sin and temptation to what the world we live in says I should be/do.

When I had exhausted all those efforts and avenues, I was empty. And God still wanted me. So, I surrendered.

Here I am. Living this life. Still shaken by the persecution of those who think this is a rinky-dink faith, hurt or scorned by something that offended them about this faith, or when they were hurt by someone who claimed this faith…but not willing to go another day without this faith because of how God has set this prisoner FREE. It’s worth all of it. And more.

So, what’s my next step after feeling “gross”? hehehehe I don’t think that everyone is called to sell everything they own and move to Africa. If everyone did that, we’d be pretty scarce over here. I don’t feel God asking me to move to another country to be a missionary. But, I do feel Him calling me to wake up and share my blessings. There are many ways to touch the lives of those in need here and there in our world…it costs $8 to feed a child for a month! I can certainly be a change in that way. There are dozens of local programs that need a hand in helping folks get back on their feet. Not everyone that struggles is a low-life. Maybe we need to start by just changing the way we think. Maybe that’s one way to be a missionary in life.

The very first step for me, is to try to hear God. I know his spirit is guiding me, but if I can figure out how to ignore some of the other voices in my life (stuff voices…) then maybe His words won’t be to muddied and will in turn be more discernible for me. I’m going to try that first.

God’s truth and peace to you my friends! Praying we have ears to hear today. 🙂


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